(Source: laced-with-ice)
It’s actually a good thing that the zombie apocalypse starts in Florida because then the zombies only have one way to go and that’s straight up into trigger happy redneck territory. I give it two weeks before monster trucks and mullets save us.
plot twist i never met your mother you were adopted now go to bed
i talk about wanting a boyfriend but i dont even know what id do with one like what do you just kiss him and then leave him alone in a corner how often does it eat
i had $54.
i could either…
- pay my $54 phone bill or
- i could spend $1 dollar on a watermelon arizona and get my phone turned off until tomorrow when i have another dollar.
(Source: batsneedfriendstoo)
